What comes to mind when you hear the word “negotiation”?
For many, it’s the high-stakes, Wolf of Wall Street-style scenes – phones slamming, voices raised, and one winner walking away while the other quietly retreats.

But what if we’ve been doing it wrong this whole time?

In the latest episode of the WomenWise Podcast, Kalina Tomova sits down with Amy Combrinck – coach, trainer and former Google leader – to unpack what negotiation really means today. And it turns out, it’s not about power plays. It’s about people.

Amy has built a career at the intersection of strategy, confidence, and human connection. With nearly two decades of experience across digital media and leadership roles, she now works with teams and individuals to help them have the conversations that matter most – from asking for a raise to navigating complex power dynamics.

Negotiation is a Conversation, Not a Contest

Amy’s biggest myth to bust? That negotiation is about winning.
“When one person ‘wins’, the other often feels like they’ve lost,” she says. “But good negotiation is a conversation. It’s about long-term impact, not short-term victory.”

This shift in perspective changes everything. Instead of going into a negotiation to outsmart the other person, Amy encourages active listening, curiosity, and mutual problem-solving. In short: negotiation should feel more like a collaboration than a confrontation.

Confidence is Built, Not Born

Amy didn’t start her career as a confident negotiator. In fact, she shares a moment early on that left her feeling humiliated: buying a digital ad space at full price, unaware she was supposed to negotiate. But it was this experience – and many more after it – that taught her the importance of putting in the reps.

“Confidence comes from doing it again and again,” she explains. “It’s like going to the gym. You build the muscle over time.”

Her approach? Aim to feel just 1% more confident each day. Whether it’s starting with a small ask, practising a line in front of the mirror, or just pressing ‘send’ on that draft email – it all adds up.

Anchoring: The Psychology of Going First

One of the most practical tools Amy shared was around anchoring – a cognitive bias where the first number stated in a negotiation sets the tone for everything that follows.

“If you’ve done your research and have a realistic ask, go first,” Amy advises. “That first figure shapes the rest of the conversation.”

She encourages women to challenge the outdated advice that says, “wait for the employer to go first.” Instead, take control and anchor the conversation in your value.

The Biggest Mistake? Talking Too Much

Amy points out a common mistake people make when negotiating: talking too much. Especially when nerves or pressure kick in, it’s tempting to over-explain or oversell.

“Sometimes we want it so badly, we forget to listen,” she says. “But the other person is giving us clues. A ‘no’ might be a ‘not now’. If we’re not listening, we’ll miss it.”

The Role of Preparation

Perhaps Amy’s most practical advice is this: prepare.

Whether you’re going into a salary negotiation, a pitch, or asking for more flexibility, preparation grounds you. “Write out your facts. Practice your statements. Know your value. That’s how you quiet the doubt and show up with clarity.”

Preparation isn’t just for the meeting. It’s what gives you the calm, collected presence during it.

The Systemic Side of Negotiation

The conversation also touches on something deeper: why women still hesitate to ask.

From Amy’s experience, two in three women would rather leave a workplace than ask for more. And while things are shifting, the data shows men are still more likely to have their requests approved – even when women are asking just as often.

The solution, Amy believes, starts with better conversations. Employers and managers must create environments where these conversations are normalised – not left until someone resigns.

“Negotiation should be part of how we work, not something we fear,” she says.

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Final Takeaway

Whether it’s asking for a raise, more time, or simply the respect you deserve – negotiating isn’t about being difficult. It’s about being clear. And clarity is power.

Amy leaves listeners with this reminder:

“If you don’t ask, the answer is always no.”

It’s time to rethink what negotiation means – and how we show up for ourselves in every conversation.